Strange Goings on
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: I offer you something very silly, but what else would you expect when you have a pink, orange and blue spotted kangaroo jumping around UNCLE HQ


Okay, try this if you dare... kangaroo(s) made to look like Easter bunnys and let loose in HQ.  
Please let the funny flow free. I don't think you can slash this but if it's possible, please do. But gen or slash, either is just fine with me in this case. (yelizaveta)

Illya woke up with a start and winced. His neck was stiff from sitting in the chair and his back ached. He got up and hobbled the first couple of steps until the pins and needles left his feet.

Glancing over at his still-unconscious partner, Illya pointed his nose in that direction. Napoleon looked impossibly pale against the sheets, his hair and whiskers a stark shadow against his skin.

"Oh, Napoleon, why did you have to play the hero?" he murmured, stroking his partner's cheek tenderly with his fingers. "Everyone was out."

"Not everyone."

Illya turned at the voice and blinked twice. There was a pink, orange and blue spotted kangaroo blocking the doorway. "What the hell?" Illya took a step towards it and at the sound of his voice, the kangaroo pulled backwards and took off. It took Illya a full second to react and by the time he'd rushed to the door, the creature was gone.

"It's bad, you know."

Illya looked around and then down. There was a small creature. It looked like a cross between a rabbit, an anteater and a mouse. "What are you?"

"G 'day, mate." He bowed, then dropped the accent. "I am what is referred to as Macrotis lagotis sagittabetter or better known as Eastern Bilby, but you can call me Pinkie Bilby."

"Pinkie…" Illya repeated without inflection.

"Yup. It's just so much easier on the tongue." The bilby adjusted his bowtie and nodded.

"What did you mean about Napoleon not getting everyone out? We had a head count of twenty one."

"Twenty one humans, you mean, but what about the others? What about the folk that you always seem to be overlooking?" The bilby guided Illya to a chair. "I think you need to sit down a bit, lad. You look a bit wobbly on your feet."

"Thanks. I'm just… what others?" A blur of color moved past the door and Illya ran to it. Lorraine, a nice nurse with a sweet temper and sultry eyes, was racing away, a green, purple, and yellow kangaroo on her heels. "Those others?"

"Yup.

"I am afraid I don't understand."

"That's because you only see with your eyes and not your imagination." Pinky held up a paw. "And don't say you don't have an imagination. I've heard some of your stories."

"How?"

"You've heard of guardian angels, of course." The kangaroo raced by again, this time on a scooter accompanied by a bright fuchsia-colored emu that was wearing a stylish bowler cap. Illya sank down into the chair. "Well, I'm your guardian creature."

"I need to wake up. This has to be a dream."

"No waking. You've entered Dreamtime. Here you can see things as they are."

"A green, purple, and yellow kangaroo? A pink emu? In UNCLE headquarters?"

"That's Jacob and Marjorie. You're the one to blame. You saved us and brought us here."

"I think I would have remembered that." A stretcher went past the open door, an agent on the gurney and the kangaroo jumping up and down on his chest. Illya started to stand, but Pinky held up a hand. "He's making sure that man's heart keeps pumping until the doctors can operate."

"The emu?"

"She's in charge of the nurses, making sure they have what they need when they need it. Didn't you even wonder just once why this headquarters has such a high success rate in saving agents?"

"Not once."

"Great! We really appreciate that." Pinky made a rude noise. "We are here to repay our debt to you." Pinky looked over at Napoleon, lying so quietly on the bed. "And him." Pinky glanced over at Illya. "We will always take care of him for you. Remember that and remember us." Pinky snapped his claws.

Illya woke up with a start and winced. His neck was stiff and his back ached.

"About time." Napoleon looked impossibly tired, his whiskers dark against his skin. "You had me worried, Partner." Napoleon covered Illya's hand with his own. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Illya glanced over at the door where Pinky, Jacob, and Marjorie were standing. Illya gave them and Napoleon a tired smile. "Not going to happen. I have friends in high places."


End file.
